What the hell is going on. I was all ready to head down to spokane this afternoon. Getting the guest rooms ready for Mom and Diane (my best friend) and I get a call from the hospital....no problem. "we're calling to go over your treatment plan for tomorrow" Okay. "Do you have any allergies?" He asks. "Yes, I am allergic to Latex." Let me call down to the OR and let them know, hold on a minute." So I wait. He comes back on the line a few moments later, "I hate to tell you this but your brain surgery has been rescheduled for next Friday." THAT'S 10 days from now. "Call your doctor's office." He says. I called my doctor. Evidentally, he has a NeuroConference ans is traveling vary far on Saturday morning. He just doesn't feel confortable leaving me only two days after the surgery....just in case something goes wrong.
Nothing I can do about it. Nothing. I have literally counted down the days and then hours to today. Scared. Worried. PETRIFIED! Not knowing how I was gonna get through until today. Then today gets here and I get this call. Crap. No control. I have NO CONTROL. I'm so angry! I'm angry because I'm suffering with this horribl, horrible pain in my face and head and I just want it to be over.
How in the world am I going to get through the next 9 days? I don' t know. I just don't know.
On one hand, I am grateful for a doctor who doesn't want to hand me off and leave, "just in case" On the other hand I'm pissed off that he didn't check his schedule...that SOMEBODY in the bloody office didn't do their JOB and that this stupid thing is stretched out for another 10 days.
I called Mom and Diane and told them and now thier lives are on hold and messed up too. Man this is unfair....I know, even as the words come out of my mouth that I'm being selfish. Someone already said..."Well God's timing is everything." Truthfully??? I wanted to slap em right then and there!~ I know God's timing is everything..I really do. But I'm waiting for someone to cut a hole in my head...A HOLE...and move my brain around....so pardon me if I'm a little TENSE!!!!
I'll get though it...I know I will. Reschedule. Revamp. Adjust. Give up control. Let God be God. CRAP.
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